Friday, November 8, 2013

Finding Balance

I must confess something to all of you. I set up this blog in May and have done absolutely nothing with it since that time. Each week I say that I am going to sit down and write my first blog entry, and each week I devote all of my spare time to working on my next book. I suffer from SPD, Selective Procrastination Disorder. It truly wasn’t a matter of wanting or not wanting to write a blog post. It was more a matter of deciding where to start. You see, I always have something on my mind.

So who am I, besides a selective procrastinator? The answer to that question varies from day-to-day. Prior to the beginning of 2013, I mostly referred to myself as a homeschooling mom. Despite the satisfaction that I gained from playing such a big role in my children's education, I felt that something was missing from my life. What I finally discovered was that I needed an identity that was not about my husband and children. This is in no way stating that I think being a stay at home parent is not an important job. At the end of the day, that is still my most important job and I wouldn’t have it any other way. What I am saying is that it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves when we become too focused on the care of others.

In January of 2013, I concluded that for more than two years I had been on an almost desperate search to find an identity outside of being a mom. In those two years, I contemplated a part-time job, tried sewing, become an avid baker, and took up running. None of these things gave me the balance that I was seeking in my life. This lack of balance was impacting all areas of my life and it was making my family miserable.

After much searching, I decided to start writing again. It is not a new hobby for me, but I hadn't written in many years. I was a little nervous about the prospect of finding time to write so I took a book that I had written fifteen years ago, Vampires and Vixen, and rewrote it. After completing that project I started working on a few other books. Needless to say, it is not easy to find time during the day to write with two small children in the house. I wake up early and I stay up late most days. I sneak upstairs to the office when the children are resting. Despite my lack of sleep, I have more energy now than I did  a year ago. My writing has given me the balance that I needed. Raising and educating my children are still my top priorities but I have found that one thing that reminds me that I am more than a mom. Some days I tell people that I am a homeschooling mom, and others I tell them that I am a writer. Both answers are true and both give me a sense of satisfaction and confidence.

Next week I will be posting a review of Rhiannon Frater’s, The Tale of the Vampire Bride. 

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